Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
