never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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