The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
