Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
