I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize