Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize