mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
