Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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