I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Will exercising make me less horny?
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