Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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