Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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