We're facebook friends in real life
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
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