what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.