Texts From Last Night

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  (303): View more from Colorado

  There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?

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  (303): There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house? http://tfl.nu/bwc7
  Replies (28) Good night (3896) Bad night (802)
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  (347): View more from New York

  We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job

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  (347): We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job http://tfl.nu/wtkj
  Replies (18) Good night (703) Bad night (4366)
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  (619): View more from California

  I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.

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  (619): I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong. http://tfl.nu/qtfu
  Replies (11) Good night (3462) Bad night (1441)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl

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  (402): she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl http://tfl.nu/7i4h
  Replies (12) Good night (686) Bad night (3173)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.

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  (225): Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING. http://tfl.nu/893j
  Replies (9) Good night (5706) Bad night (744)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.

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  (703): the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up. http://tfl.nu/glqa
  Replies (23) Good night (4461) Bad night (1359)
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  (212): View more from New York

  Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.

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  (212): Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing. http://tfl.nu/tshz
  Replies (39) Good night (3656) Bad night (1433)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.

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  (904): I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch. http://tfl.nu/opx0
  Replies (15) Good night (1034) Bad night (3303)
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  (714): View more from California

  The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.

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  (714): The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night. http://tfl.nu/euw3
  Replies (16) Good night (647) Bad night (2800)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude

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  (303): Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude http://tfl.nu/hmhg
  Replies (4) Good night (1181) Bad night (630)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.

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  (727): He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life. http://tfl.nu/pdok
  Replies (12) Good night (678) Bad night (1195)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again

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  (905): I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again http://tfl.nu/ut4u
  Replies (2) Good night (494) Bad night (652)
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  (530): View more from California

  Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish

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  (530): Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish http://tfl.nu/hirn
  Replies (4) Good night (649) Bad night (455)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.

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  (705): He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously. http://tfl.nu/od66
  Replies (3) Good night (452) Bad night (202)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?

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  (910): I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know? http://tfl.nu/6v52
  Replies (0) Good night (361) Bad night (242)

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