Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?