Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk

  (586): View more from Michigan

  I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite

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  (586): I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk (586): I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite http://tfl.nu/tt9d
  Replies (4) Good night (1424) Bad night (544)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.

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  (440): he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever. http://tfl.nu/ykgr
  Replies (64) Good night (10006) Bad night (1183)
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  (310): View more from California

  she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator

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  (310): she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator http://tfl.nu/t2x8
  Replies (16) Good night (767) Bad night (3350)
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  (909): View more from California

  Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass

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  (909): Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass http://tfl.nu/8d1b
  Replies (19) Good night (881) Bad night (4635)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.

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  (678): We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine. http://tfl.nu/3sll
  Replies (29) Good night (995) Bad night (4267)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie

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  (828): you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie http://tfl.nu/vbyw
  Replies (36) Good night (6226) Bad night (1557)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.

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  (608): no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed. http://tfl.nu/ynv2
  Replies (13) Good night (5480) Bad night (1025)
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  (818): View more from California

  Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award

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  (818): Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award http://tfl.nu/89h0
  Replies (10) Good night (1270) Bad night (3912)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.

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  (828): Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times. http://tfl.nu/we9q
  Replies (12) Good night (3000) Bad night (760)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?

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  (610): I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke? http://tfl.nu/zzrl
  Replies (7) Good night (1578) Bad night (997)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.

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  (304): The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke. http://tfl.nu/dnme
  Replies (9) Good night (2200) Bad night (597)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?

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  (815): holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas? http://tfl.nu/9590
  Replies (3) Good night (745) Bad night (480)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter

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  (513): I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter http://tfl.nu/gfsm
  Replies (2) Good night (626) Bad night (481)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt

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  (416): 5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt http://tfl.nu/29z0
  Replies (1) Good night (759) Bad night (295)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?

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  (717): do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it? http://tfl.nu/c2mx
  Replies (3) Good night (495) Bad night (302)

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