took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!