Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize