I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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