All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
