peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
