Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize