I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
