Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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