Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize
