ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
