Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
