I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
