he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
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