So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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