you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
