Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
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