so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
