Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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