The maid of honor just puked.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
