How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
