wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Randomize
