I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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