oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball