their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.