Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(334): View more from Alabama

I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon

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(334): I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon http://tfl.nu/p3qx

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(816): View more from Missouri

If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.

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(816): If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day. http://tfl.nu/k8ur

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(714): View more from California

We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her

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(714): We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her http://tfl.nu/ekrz

Replies (72) Good night (2022) Bad night (11239) Order T-Shirt
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(415): View more from California

i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.

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(415): i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me. http://tfl.nu/4nn8

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(301): View more from Maryland

dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow

(410): View more from Maryland

so basically your not goin out tonight?

(301): View more from Maryland

who said that?

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(301): dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow (410): so basically your not goin out tonight? (301): who said that? http://tfl.nu/qimw

Replies (13) Good night (5266) Bad night (845)
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(585): View more from New York

its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck

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(585): its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck http://tfl.nu/jjii

Replies (14) Good night (3706) Bad night (830) Order T-Shirt
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(801): View more from Utah

Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.

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(801): Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with. http://tfl.nu/sran

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(646): View more from New York

Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.

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(646): Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout. http://tfl.nu/vj0i

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(518): View more from New York

College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.

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(518): College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never. http://tfl.nu/pxty

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(860): View more from Connecticut

ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again

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(860): ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again http://tfl.nu/2l19

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know

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(570): I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know http://tfl.nu/nr32

Replies (3) Good night (1921) Bad night (553) Order T-Shirt
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(479): View more from Arkansas

This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"

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(479): This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!" http://tfl.nu/9tko

Replies (26) Good night (840) Bad night (1625)
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(518): View more from New York

They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.

(1-518): View more from New York

Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.

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(518): They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me. (1-518): Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props. http://tfl.nu/pv50

Replies (5) Good night (2254) Bad night (662)
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb

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(403): I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb http://tfl.nu/fhfr

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(702): View more from Nevada

Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.

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(702): Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE. http://tfl.nu/l3z1

Replies (6) Good night (963) Bad night (286)

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