You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place