so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
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the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
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About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?