that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Randomize
