Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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