3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Come back. Shots need mouths.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
