mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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