I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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