i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Randomize
