And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
my shit smells like andre
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
