sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
