Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
He passed out mid-signature
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
3pm strippers are depressing
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
