So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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