idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
