I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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