You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
