ya dads aren't the best wingmen
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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