I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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