we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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