my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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