I CAN MOONWALK!
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Less talking, more tequila
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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