Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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