The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
