I want to stick my p in your. b.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
