READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
