girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
our cab driver is having phone sex.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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